December 25, 2005
Charlie Brown tree, revisited...
Last night at about 11:30pm, Ann and I sat together in mom's den and watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas" together. It didn't take long for the tears to come streaming down my face, and what in years past would have been a fun event, was instead a time of deep sorrow and mourning of a life filled with emptiness and grief. But after the show was over, I went into the front room to gaze at my tree...
My tree looked so beautiful, so delicate - it didn't matter that there were a few bald spots or droopy limbs. It didn't even matter that the star at the top sagged to one side, it was my tree. A tree that I willed to be a part of me no matter what. As I look at my tree now, it seems to sag just a little bit more. But the tree, like me, tries desperately to be what everyone things it should be.
I have no expectations of you, my little tree. I want nothing from you except to hope that you accept my love and care despite that I, too, am small, imperfect and, to others, insignificant. You are special to me, and I shall try my best to hold you close throughout this year.
